52

Song Title: Boyfriend
Artist: Best Coast
Age at time of Song Memory : 18
Current Age: 19

Song Memory: This song brings a tear each time it plays because it reminded me of my first relationship as a boy in the closet. My boyfriend was also in denial of his sexuality at the time and the frustration of wondering if he was gay drove me crazy. I had a feeling of guilt in my conscious, like I was required to follow the ‘normal’ rules of society. That feeling of not being able to sleep at night only led us to texting and talking during the night hours. I’ve got many vibes from him, but I was still confused because he had provided me with several stories about his ex-girlfriends. I was hesitant of jumping into this relationship because I wasn’t ready for the public reactions of other people. Eventually, we both opened up and one day I told him how I felt. After being pushed away a few times, we got into a relationship and things started moving quite fast. As a favor to him and I, I came out to my mother during this time, yet she is still in denial and is not accepting of my sexuality. We are not together for various reasons, but these memories are preserved through this song.

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